A new season

Summer is coming to an end, we have one more week of popsicles, catching fireflies, jumping off the diving board, and lazy evenings. As much as I don't want summer to be over I will admit I am excited to be getting back to the routine of the school year. Fall is also my favorite season with it's crisp afternoons, soccer games, apple pie, halloween, pumpkin patches, face painting, festivals, leaf jumping, hiking - and best of all, NOT SWEATING. Another one of my favorite things is to be able to wear jeans and a sweater and boots. School shopping for a the new school year clothes always makes me happy and getting rid of the old, worn out clothes from the year before is like spring cleaning. This year, I am fortunate enough to have a baby girl to pick out a fall wardrobe for - but the best part is that I don't really have to spend any money or time doing it this year since my friend gave me oodles of hand-me-downs. Adorable stuff that I can't wait to pair with striped tights and little uggs. Seriously I think the only thing I need to purchase are accessories - that is tights and maybe some shoes, depending, though I have tons of those too. Another exciting thing is that both kids are finally moving to the upstairs bedrooms this fall. We're calling it the kid kingdom up there. It will be nice to have an extra room downstairs -we'll use as a den/family room and make our current den/family room into a reading / computer room. Lots of things to look forward to and lots of things to still savor for a week.

Last day of summer camp

Today is the official last day of summer camp, although school doesn't officially start until next Monday. Only one week left before life gets back to more of a regular schedule. Waiting to find out Djibirl's schedule for next week so that I know what days I will have to take off. May go for a trip up to Dutch wonderland with him this week. This weekend we have a birthday party and headed to the pool on Sunday with Traci and Grace. There are also pool games on Saturday morning which I'm not sure we'll make it to, since we have the birthday party. I need to take malik to get a few more things before school starts - new water bottle, new backpak and a first day of school outfit. It's gonna be hot still when he starts so I'd like him to wear something that isn't hot. He may be able to just wear something he's already got but we'll see. I need to also pick up a couple of pairs of sweatpants for him still. I already picked up a pair of jeans, cords, and cargo's. He really likes sweatpants though b/c they are comfy. I got him a pair last year at target that were awesome, but they don't sell them anymore (mossimo brand). I thin I may head over to the gap outlet and see if they have the sweats with the pockets (and no drawstring on the legs, i hate the tapered sweats, so ugly). Other than that he has his backpak and lunchbox from last year he can use. I'll pick up a new water bottle and a new hot food canister. Then I'm done. Hoping to get some time tonight to pick up the house - most likley going to rain heavily tonight, or we would have gone over to the pool.

HAIR

OK - so I want to get a haircut with a new style. It is really difficult to find hairstyle ideas online. I did find a couple of websites, see here and here that let you try the hairstyle on a picture of yourself, but they didn't have the hairstyle that I really want. It's sort of stupid but if you look at my little avatar picture associated with this blogger account, that is sort of the haircut I'm thinking of. Even better if anyone can find me a picture online of a similar haircut but on a real person that would be fabulous. It's sort of short and choppy and cut close to the head - not really a bob.

The Fam.

The three people I love most in this world.

Daycare people....

Grrr...

So last night I'm home alone with two kids and we are reading a Junie B. Jones book all in my bed around 9pm. Then, BOOM!, the electricity goes out - the house goes pitch black. Of course I wasn't expecting the lights to go out so I have to fumble through the black house trying to find the stupid flashlight with Leila in my arms and Malik attached to my leg. I find the flashlight, go outside and get the camping lantern from the car, find the candles and matches, light those. Call BGE to tell them the power is out. The BGE truck shows up 5 minutes later and so I hope that the problem will soon be fixed. By 10pm, I give up hope and go to bed. At 5am I wake up to the sound of chainsaws in my backyard and 2 men speaking another language. I walk out and find that BGE is cutting down tree branches in my backyard, apparantly one of the branches had fallen on the power line. Just sort of a weird thing, no idea how they got into my backyard since it's fenced off (with a pretty high fence). Finally around 7am, the electricity comes back on. I get out of bed and get ready for work. I'm out the door by 7:45 with Leila in tow. As soon as I get in the car I call the daycare lady - who runs a family daycare home from 7am to 6pm anyway and tell her we are running later than usual and that we will be there at 8:30. I do this as a courtesy since normally we show up at 8am, so I figure I'm giving her the heads up. When i call nobody answers so I leave a message on the machine. I get to her house at 8:35 and am dropping Leila off. i tell her she has eaten but probably needs a bottle and that she went to the bathroom in the car and so has a dirty diaper. Then the lady says to me, "the next time you are going to be late I would appreciate it if you would call me." I look at her and say, "I did, I left you a message." She says, "What time did you call?" I tell her I called at 8am. I just don't get the gall of some people, first of all I'm paying you to watch Leila for 9 hours a day - those were her terms. Everyday I drop her off around 8 and pick her up by 4:30 - so I actually only use 8.5 hours of my 9. Not that I'm saying I'm great or anything but I'm sure most people use the full 9 hours since most people have to work 8.5 hour days and that leaves 15 minutes to get from her house to work and vice versa in the afternoon. It just seems weird to me that you would have the audacity to say that to somebody who is giving you business and that always calls when she is going to be late and who is never ever late picking up her child. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive but it rubbed me the wrong way. I am not a difficult parent, i am pretty laid back. I never give instructions to her, like I want Leila to eat at such and such time and I want a daily log of her activities, etc... I know some parents who would do that. I just thought it was rude of somebody who has to be there anyway and who I'm paying for the time anyway to give me an attitude b/c I'm 30 minutes late. What difference does it make, were you going to be out if I didn't get there at 8am? It's not like you I didn't already pay you for the time. And if anybody should be giving orders and dictating shit to people, it should be me. I'm the mother. Argh... My fuse is very short.

Bottom Dweller

Does anyone else feel like they just keep battling the same crap day in and day out and that they never get out of the rut of their 'mistakes' that they keep making over and over again. I'm sick of hearing I'm sorry for the same stupid shit. If I hear it one more time i'm gonna scream. I'm sick of having to point out the obvious to grown adults. I'm sick of feeling crappy about myself and feeling like I'm a nag because other people can't make themselves carry some of the burden. I'm sick of feeling like I'm sinking into a deeper hole and every time surprising myself that I haven't hit rock bottom. I'm sick of worrying over whether today will be that day - the day that I just break down past the point of no return. Where I will not be able to control my emotions anymore to those held in private where all doors are closed and I'll just be that girl who went crazy - you know that one. It seems an inevitable outcome to me but I just keep crossing my fingers that I can hold it together and pass off sanity and perhaps escape the breakdown. the inevitable breakdown.

Happy 6th Birthday

6 years ago today I held you tightly in my arms and never wanted to let you go with tears of joy and tears of sadness all rolled into one. I could have never asked for a more kick-ass son than you. I am so proud of you every single day for how cool you are (even when you are acting like the biggest dork ever). I hope today will be remembered in your mind - not for anything outstanding that we did (b/c today was pretty mellow) but because of all the fun we shared. -Mama.

The first day of summer vacation

Today I am officially old. I have a child not a baby anymore. The fact that Malik has finished Kindergarten and is going into a real grade - a grade with a number - makes me feel old. It's hard for me to come to terms with the fact that Malik has lost all his 'babiness' and he is a boy now. Gratefully, (for me at least) he's still a mama's boy and always will be - but nonetheless he is so big. I am so proud of him - which sounds strange since really he has no choice but to grow up so it's not like he did anything per se... but there it is I'm still proud. I think about what it would be like if N was here too, how different life would be for all of us, but especially for Malik. What kind of a person he would be now - rather than the person that he has turned out to be. Wondering how having a best friend and brother would have made him different than if he were an only child (up until a few months ago). Wonder how N's personality would have been and if they would be best friends with the other twins at M's school now. Weird how life unfolds and the many question of what is, what was, and what could have been. And thankful that I get to do it all over again with my little juicy girl.